iGive You My Congratulations
by LuDiamonds
Summary: Sam made the biggest mistake when she didn't tell him that last day ten years ago. Will she make up for lost time when she sees him on his wedding day? A fic insipired by Congratulations by Blue October.


**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly, or Blue October's ah-mazing song Congratulations.**

I curled up into a ball and cried, knowing that this time would be the last time I would cry because I had to put on my makeup soon. I didn't want a waterfall of black mush running down my face, so this would have to be the last time.

He invited me to his wedding. His wedding. I haven't seen him in 10 years, and he invites me to his wedding, his wedding with _her._

How dare he?!

Well, I suppose it wasn't his fault, I never told him, I should have, but I didn't. He would have never figured it out himself anyway, and I didn't have the guts to tell him. So when we all left for college I gave him a big hug and told him I'd be seeing him around. I look back to that day and mentally kick myself for not telling him…

_Finally, the day we've all been looking forward to. Getting out of this stupid town._

_We all planned it so we would have the whole summer together and then we would all leave on the same day. Carly would be going to Memphis to be a neurosurgeon, Freddie would be going to DC, he's getting into government, and I'm going to California, to pursue my dream of being an actress. We were all at the airport together, laughing, pretending that this could very well be the last time we were together for the rest of our lives._

_Carly's flight was the first one to leave. Freddie got up and grabbed her in a huge hug and they said their goodbyes. With tear filled eyes (but not one left my eyes) I pulled her into a hug and whispered a promise that we would talk every night. She laughed, and then she was gone, to start her life._

_Freddie and I talked for a while after she left, but we already had that gloomy feeling of everything coming to an end hovering around us. Then it was time to leave. My flight was boarding._

_I grabbed my one suitcase in one hand and fumbled with the strap of my carry-on bag in the other._

"_Well, I guess this is it Benson," I said looking at the ground._

_Tell him. Sam! Tell him now!_

"_Yeah, I guess," he mumbled._

_I bit my lip and looked up at him and to see that he was staring at me. We both stared at each other for a couple minutes until Freddie took two giant steps towards me and enveloped me in a giant hug. I laughed and dropped my suitcase and my bag and wrapped my arms around his neck. He put his chin on the top of my head and I rested mine on his shoulder._

_I wrenched my eyes shut willing the tears to not pour like they were threatening to._

_I should tell him. Tell him now. Quickly whisper into his year how much I've been in love with him all these years and then leave so I wouldn't have to see his reaction. How easy would that be?_

_Finally I pulled away from him, I really had a flight to catch._

_Both of his hands were on my arms still, and I was surprised to see that his eyes were watery, like mine._

"_Freddie I-," I started._

_I was going to tell him. I was going to tell him right now._

_I sighed, no I couldn't._

"_-I'm going to miss you," I finished dejectedly._

_He gave me a confused look._

"_I'm going to miss you, too, Sam," he said._

_He waited looking at me like he was expecting me to say more. To say something else._

_I didn't say anything, so he pulled me into another hug._

"_You have no idea how much I'll miss you," he whispered into my ear._

_My body erupted into goose bumps. He pulled away from me and I laughed._

"_Don't get all sappy on me Freddie."_

_He smiled._

"_You called me Freddie!" he exclaimed._

_I rolled my eyes._

"_Well, savor this moment, because that will probably never happen again."_

_He laughed._

"_I really have to catch my flight," I sighed looking behind me._

_He sighed, too. I turned back around and smiled at him._

_Okay, tell him now. _

_As if he read my mind he raised his eyebrows, expecting me to say something._

_I really am going to tell him._

_I opened my mouth to let the words come out, but…nothing did. I stared at him with my mouth open while only air came out, there wasn't even a little, "I love you," squeak._

"_Uh…bye Freddie," I rushed._

_The breath he seemed to be holding in deflated and he looked down at his feet with a disappointed sigh._

"_Bye Sam."_

We all talked on the phone and on the computer everyday for the first year, and by the third year, it was a couple times a month. When we hit the 6th year apart we were lucky to talk to each other 3 times in the year.

So in the middle of July, ten years since that day at the airport, when I got a small envelope from a Mr. Benson I was greatly surprised. I tore open the piece of mail with a large grin on my face, excited that I heard from Freddie, and then I dropped to the ground when I opened up the small beautifully decorated card.

It was an invitation.

To his wedding.

With a Ms. Abby Conaway.

I looked at the picture on the back of the card and my heart shattered in a million pieces. He looked wonderful, so much older, so much more mature then what he did as an eighteen year old boy. He was a man now. Abby was gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous. She had bright emerald green eyes and thick, masses of curly red-brown hair. She had tan skin and looked slender and tall.

I hated her. How dare she marry the man I love?

With another heart wrenching realization, I looked at the little silver date printed under the picture.

_The Eleventh of August._

I gave a sarcastic laugh and rested my head on the ground and let the tears pour from my eyes.

The man I loved was getting married to another woman…on my _birthday._

And, so now I'm here, in a Hilton Hotel room in Virginia. Crying.

I've got to stop crying.

With a shaky hand I wiped away the tears and gave out a last sob. The last cry I would waste on a dream I could never achieve.

I slipped on the skin tight, short, and low cut black dress over my lacy black undergarments. I dressed to impress, and with the black satin 4 inch stilettos, I would impress. I looked great in this, I knew it.

I curled my hair into an elegant low bun, and did a few tricks with my makeup, all things I learned in the show business. I'm a really big thing on Broadway now, I'm the lead girl in a play called Spring Awakening, Wendela, it's a really fun part with a hot costar and awesome costumes. I was also Grisabella on CATS, Belle on Beauty and the Beast, and I've been the teapot on Beauty and the Beast, too.

I've had a pretty impressive career so far.

I studied myself in the hotel mirror. Beautiful. I know I am. I've been told many times. With my luscious blonde locks, my tall slender body, my bright blue eyes, reddened cheeks and full, pink lips. But I couldn't compete. Not with Ms. Abby Conaway, future Mrs. Abby Benson.

She has him, and I don't, I never will.

It's kind of ironic to wear black to this wedding; it will be beautiful, pure and joyful. The birth of a new love. But for me…it will be a death, the ending of all that was and all that could have been. I don't know how long it will take me to get over this…maybe I never will.

I gripped the dresser, my fingers tightening, my whole body growing rigid when I felt the prickly of tears at the back of my eyelids. I can't screw up the makeup; I don't have enough time to fix it.

I already decided I wasn't going to get a date for this event, even though I could with a snap of my fingers…I just…I couldn't drag a guy to this.

I looked at my phone which was lying next to my hairbrush. Time to go. With a shaky sigh I grabbed my black clutch bag and threw my phone in it. I hurried through the hotel and to my parked car outside.

As I drove to the church I reminisced at all the old times. All the missed opportunities. It's amazing that Freddie would be the first one to be married out all of us. I expected Carly to be married right out of high school, but I knew I didn't want to be with anyone other than Freddie.

I reached the church the whole shindig would be taking place at. It was beautiful, just like the couple. A large yard, white balloons lining everything with white roses and white ribbons. I walked through the gravel as best as I could in stilettos, catching the eye of some good looking men in tuxedos talking together by the door.

One of them jumped forward and opened the door for me, giving me a big, goofy smile. I mentally eye rolled, but sent him a smirk and a wink. His smile widened and after I entered the church he high-fived all his friends.

I saw a bunch of people in fancy clothing talking in the lobby, none of which I know. I walked a little farther and saw the beautiful main part of the church, the church benches lined with white roses and ribbon like outside many people were sitting down in there, too.

Suddenly I panicked. I know no one here, except for Freddie. What am I going to do until this damn thing's over. I decided I need to get away from all these people I saw a hallway to my left, I looked left and right, then practically jogged to it.

There were many doors lining each side of the hallway and at the end of the hall was the most beautiful stain glass window I have had ever seen. It was many colors and it had a large white dove in the middle. It made the hallway look multi-colored. It was beautiful.

I bit my lip. I couldn't do this. I'm going to cry. I'm going to have a mental breakdown in front of everyone here. I leaned against the wall, trying to catch my breath.

When I was about to run out of the church and never look back again, I was startled by the sound of an opening door. I looked up in surprise to see an older Mrs. Benson. She looked exactly the same, except she had a couple more wrinkles, grayer hair, and glasses.

"Samantha!" she said in a surprised tone.

I smiled. "Hi, Mrs. Benson."

She laughed and pulled me into a hug, I awkwardly returned it.

"My, my, my, Samantha, you've gotten quite beautiful," she said smiling.

"Uh…thanks," I said back.

"I have to say I'm surprised to see you here," she said crossing her arms over her dress.

My mouth dropped. "What?"

"It must be hard to watch the man you are in love with marry someone else," she said raising her eyebrows.

I was at a loss of words. When I finally got my voice back I spit out, "Excuse me?!"

"Let's just say I'm not as clueless as you kids thought I was back then," she gave me a strange smile and pulled me into another hug.

"You need to tell him, this is your last chance," she whispered, "Abby is a dear, but she isn't right for him…if you don't say something…you'll regret it for the rest of your life."

She pulled away from me and smiled.

"He's in the room behind me if you want to…congratulate him," she smirked as if it were a big joke.

All I could do was stare at her, mouth ajar, after she left. I slowly looked at the door in front of me. Maybe Mrs. Benson is right, if I don't do this, I will regret it. It won't change anything if I tell him, but it will take some weight off of my chest.

I took a deep breath and pushed open the door.

"Mom, I told you, I'm-," he started, but then he looked up.

His eyes widened in surprise. I'm sure mine did too. He looked amazing. His black tuxedo, his chocolate brown hair, his deep brown eyes. It took all my self control not to jump him.

"Um…may I help you?" he whispered, his eyes never leaving mine.

He doesn't know who I am, I realized.

A small smile played on my lips, I fiddled with my purse, trying to think of what to say.

"Sure, you can," I whispered, I looked back up at him, "unless you know another Freddork around here I could talk to you."

His eyebrows scrunched together, and then his mouth popped open in surprise when he pieced it together.

"Oh my God," he breathed, "Sam?!"

I shrugged. "In the flesh," I smiled.

He laughed once and jumped up. He walked over to me in two steps and threw his arms around me. I laughed and squeezed my arms around him. I inhaled his scent, it was so familiar, a scent I've been missing for a long time. I smiled into his shoulder.

I was sad when he let me go.

"God! I can't believe it's you!" he laughed, "You look amazing!"

I blushed and looked down, I glanced up at him to see that he was blushing, too. I guess he thinks we're still on that friend/enemy thing.

"You too," I smiled, to show him I've been doing some growing up.

He looked back at me and smiled. We both were smiling and staring at each other for a couple of minutes before we realized what we were doing. We both quickly looked away.

"So…" he coughed, "how have you been?"

I smiled, "Great," I lied.

I bit my lip, it was now or never.

"Actually no, I haven't been good at all," I said looking down.

"What-?" he started.

"No," I stopped him, putting up a hand, "it would be best if I did the talking for a little bit."

I nervously laughed. What. The hell. Am I going to say?!

"Freddie-," I started. I realized that my mind has drawn a blank. "Freddie. I lied to you," I finally said.

After a moment of me saying nothing he finally asked, "About what, Sam?"

My lip quivered and I had to bite it to keep it still. I was about to break.

"Everything!" I cried. "Every time that I made fun of you, how I thought you were a loser, how I thought your girlfriends were nice, how I said…" I trailed off, "how I said I hated you."

"What?" Freddie's surprised voice came.

I couldn't stop the tears. One slowly rolled down my cheek. How could I explain? How could I possibly explain how I felt.

I fumbled with my purse, and I accidently dropped it. I blushed with embarrassment and picked it up. I noticed a white, folded piece of paper on the ground. I slowly picked it up and opened it. A little poem I wrote the night I found out he was getting married.

_Is that seat taken? _

_Congratulations _

_Would you like to take a walk with me _

_My mind it kind of goes fast _

_I try to slow it down for you _

_I think I'd love to take a drive _

_I want to give you something _

_I've been wanting to give to you for years _

_My heart _

_My heart, my pain won't cover up _

_You left me_

_My heart won't take this cover up _

_You left me _

_I came to see the light in my best friend _

_You seemed as happy as you'd ever been _

_My chance of being open was broken _

_And now you're Mr. her. _

_My words they don't come out right _

_But I'll try to say I'm happy for you _

_I think I'm going to take that drive _

_I want to give you something _

_I've been wanting to give to you for years _

_My hearts _

_My heart, my pain won't cover up _

_You left me _

_My heart _

_My heart won't take this cover up _

_You left me _

_And I can't change this _

_I can never take it back _

_But now I can't change your mind _

_You left me_

_And I can't take this _

_I can never take this back _

_But now I can't change your mind _

_can't change your mind _

_You left me _

_Can't change your mind _

_You left me_

_Go away _

_Make it go away _

_Please._

I handed it to Freddie and watched his expression of surprise and confusion deepen with every word he read. Tears streamed freely from my eyes now. When he was done reading it he looked up at me with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Is this really how you feel, Sam?" he asked softly.

"Yes," I cried.

I bit my lip to keep the sobs in.

"Oh God, Sam-," he started.

He reached for me, but I jumped backwards. I laughed through my tears.

"Don't say anything Freddie, that's all I wanted to tell you. I know this changes nothing. Just…congratulations, Freddie, I hope you have a wonderful life with her."

I ran out of the room before he could stop me. No, stop crying, Sam, don't break down. Keep yourself together.

I rounded the corner to the lobby and my eyes were dry. I walked straight to the church and searched for a place to sit in the benches.

"Sam!" someone called.

I looked to see a pretty little brunette waving to me. Carly. I smiled and walked over to her.

"Carly," I smiled.

She stood up and we both gave each other a big hug.

"Here," she said, directing me to a seat near the front of the church. "I saved you a seat!"

We both chatted about our lives until someone shushed us all. The priest was standing on the alter and then the groom and the best man walked up. They stood by the priest. The best man looked excited, he kept shaking Freddie's shoulder and laughing.

Freddie looked troubled.

He looked out in the crowd and somehow his eyes met mine. I didn't smile, but I didn't frown. I didn't look away either, I simply stared at him. He looked like he was trying to tell me something in his eyes, but I couldn't read it.

Soon I heard a gasp and then the wedding march started to play. I could hear everyone turn around in their seat to see the beautiful bride. I didn't. I didn't look away from Freddie.

The sad thing was, he didn't look at her, either. He kept looking straight at me. I bit my lip again.

Do. Not. Cry.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a big white figure and turned to see the Ms. Abby Conaway marching up the aisle. Freddie finally turned away from me to look at her. She got to the alter and smiled brightly at him. He gave her a short smile, and by the look on her face, I wasn't the only one who noticed how fake it looked.

"We are gathered here today…" the priest started.

I couldn't take it anymore. Tears pooled in my eyes and Freddie turned to me again. I shook my head, stood up, and ran out of the church, ignoring the surprised glances. I ran outside through the balloon covered walkway that the happy new couple will be running through in less than an hour.

I cried and as I did my tears blurred my vision. I didn't run to the left where my car was parked, I ran to the right. There was a sidewalk lining the street so I ran along it. The Virginia sun was shining brightly, the bright blue sky was cloudless, and the trees with white flowers in them lining the street were equally beautiful.

I didn't belong here. Everything was too perfect.

Finally when I couldn't run any longer, I collapsed, crying to the ground on my hands and knees. My beautifully curled and pined hair came falling in front of my face, and I'm sure I look like a mess now.

I realized how pathetic I looked, but I couldn't stop crying.

What did I think I would accomplish from telling Freddie? I ruined what friendship we had left. Made him feel uncomfortable during his wedding, and not to mention make a huge fool of myself.

Did I think it would make me feel better by telling him? Maybe, but it didn't. I feel worse. Which is more horrible, being in love with a man without telling him and letting him drift away, or knowing a man knows you love him, but he still doesn't care?

I'm so stupid.

"Puckett, you're going to ruin your dress if you lie on the ground like that," a voice came from behind me.

I quickly turned around and looked up. Through my blurry eyes I saw…Freddie?

I sniffed and rubbed at my eyes, trying to clear the tears. When I could see fine again I gave him a questioning look.

"Freddie?" I asked in a small voice.

"In the flesh," he smiled.

He bent down to his knees so he was level with me.

"Shouldn't you…what are you…aren't you supposed to be kind of in the middle of something?" I sniffled.

"Yeah," he nodded, he turned so he was sitting by me. He looked out back at the church which was about a mile away.

"So…" I tried again, "why are you here?"

He was silent for a moment, and then he turned to me.

"Sam," he started, looking me straight in the eyes, he reached up and pushed a strand of curly hair behind my ear, his hand lingered on my cheek. I forgot how to breathe. "Sam, I couldn't do it. I couldn't marry her after what you told me-,"

My stomach dropped. Of course I would ruin everything. "Oh God, Freddie, I'm sorry-," I interrupted, he cut me off.

"No, Sam, let me finish. Those things you wrote, it hurt me more than I've ever been hurt in my life."

I looked down, ashamed.

"No! Not because of you, it's my fault. I hurt you. Sam, you have no idea how long I waited for you to say something like that to me. When you were kids, and all you could think about was tormenting me, all I could think about was you. You thought I was in love with Carly," he laughed, remembering, "that probably wasn't my best ideas, but I was so afraid if you found out how I felt about you, you would kill me or worse, laugh. So I secretly pined after you while you thought I was pining for Carly."

I mentally kicked myself. I did the same thing as him. Covering up my true feelings with hateful words.

"I kept waiting for a chance to tell you, but that chance never came, and I regretted it for the rest of my life."

He sighed and looked down, angry.

"What I'm trying to say is, if I should be with anyone, it should be you. I love you Sam, I always have and I always will."

I couldn't help myself. More tears clouded my vision and I laughed. I didn't know what to say, so I spoke with actions.

I closed the space between us. Our lips met and it was like magic. I was filled with all the passion for him I buried deep down all these years being let out, and I guess for him it was the same. Our lips moved together in sync. I knotted my fingers in his hair, and his hands moved to my face.

His tongue brushed my lips, asking for permission to explore. I opened my mouth in response and our tongues went into a full out war for dominance. I moaned into his mouth and his hands moved to my waist.

He picked me up and he leaned back so his back was on the ground and I was lying on top of him. My lips ventured away from his mouth, and I placed small kisses down his cheek and then moved to his neck. I heard him moan, too, and I smiled into his neck.

His hands went back to my face and he forced my head to look back at him. His eyes were glazed over with lust, but that quickly faded into…happiness.

"I love you, Sam," he whispered, smiling.

"I love you to, Fredweird," I smiled back.

"Well about damn time!" a voice yelled.

Freddie and I wiped our heads to the left and saw Carly standing in her little pink dress, her hands on her hips.

I blushed and jumped off of Freddie, standing up, and smoothing down the short black dress that almost rode up all the way to my hips. I patted my hair, but gave up. That was a lost cause.

"What?" Freddie asked her.

"Well it's obvious you two have been crazy about each other since you were like eleven, but you had to wait all this time! Couldn't you find a better time to tell him…like, oh I don't, before his wedding day?!" she yelled, scowling at the both of us.

I looked down, but as I looked at Freddie who was still sitting on the ground, he was biting his lip, trying to not to laugh. I couldn't hold it in, I busted out laughing and Freddie joined me. Carly was still scowling but a smile was tugging at the corner of her mouth.

Soon she was joining us and we were all laughing so hard that we had to wipe away tears.

"Aw, I love you guys!" she giggled throwing her arms around us both.

Freddie's and my eyes met over her shoulder and we both shared a secret smile.

"But seriously!" she said backing up. "We have one seriously pissed off bride back there."

"I deal with her," Freddie sighed.

Carly scowled again and turned to walk back to the church.

"She's going to be one hell of a problem, but, it doesn't really matter now," he laughed, and looked at me. "I can't believe it, I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life, but then-,"

"-then I came and saved your ass, Freddifer," I laughed.

"Yes, yes, you did, Puckett," he laughed, kissed me on the cheek and grabbed my hand.

As we both made our way to the church (I swore I could hear Abby Conaway's angry shrieking from a mile away), I knew there would be hell to pay, but it was okay, because I was with my dork.

And he will always be mine now. I smiled to myself.

To think, this would have never happened if I didn't give him my congratulations.

**I know, I'm in the middle of writing iWon't Be Seventeen Forever, but…I was inspired by Congratulations by Blue October and Imogene Heap. The song is incredible and so are the people who sing it!!**

**I heard the song and immediately (probably because I'm sickly addicted to Seddie, sad I know :D) thought of a Seddie story line…so BAM! Here comes iGive You My Congratulations. He he.**

**Please review and tell me what you think!**

**Love,**

**Lucy ;)**


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